Gone are the days when mourners would wear all black or all
white clothes while walking the streets to the sad tune of “Hindi Kita Malilimutan.”
There’s just something wrong with this scenario. I mean, death is not the end
of life. It is the beginning of a new life, a life of freedom, freedom from
pain, diseases and whatever other burden life has to offer. So, it's not something to cry about, it's something to celebrate!
If I were to die, I wouldn’t want people crying during my
funeral. If they do or did love me, then they ought to be happy that I have
gone. With all the things I’ve been through, I guess death is the easiest way
out for me. Not that I want to die now, I’m just saying that to be free from
life’s crazy ways I have to be dead, and since I am not dead yet, then here I
am, still wrecking my brain of how I can deal with life. So, if death do come
to take me, isn’t it just fair that the people who claims to love me be happy
because I am finally free?
As for the clothes, please spare me the cliché of wearing
black and white. These colors are just too gloomy for my taste. I know I like
black, but not for funerals, the emotion is heavy enough during such even
especially with everyone crying that adding black to it makes it unbearably sad.
White, on the other hand, is one shade that I never have been fond of. My high
school uniform was all-white and that gave me four years of laundry nightmare!
I can never wear white properly, which is basically my dense reason for not
wanting white in my funeral. I like green, blue, pink, purple, yellow also,
even red. Just let go of the gloomy colors and bring in the rainbow!
I love music and it is an important part of my life, thus, I
want the music in my funeral to be beautiful, hip, and cool. When I say
beautiful, hip, and cool, I would mean those sounds that I enjoy listening to
like EBTG, VST and Co. Apo Hiking Society, Indigo Girls, etc. etc. I have a
collection so selecting music wouldn’t be that hard.
I still want the old school parade of people from my house
(or wherever the wake would be) to the church. But instead of walking slowly while
sniffing, I want street dancing and singing. Hear me! I am not joking! This is
true! I want the people joining my funeral to be dancing in the street as they
march towards the church. I am yet to think of a good song, but as of now, I
think I like “Awitin mo” by VST and Co. (is my title right?)
I also don’t want the balloons that some mourners would send
up to the sky for wishes. I want pompoms, fireworks, and those ribbons that pop
out of tubes (I don’t know what they are called). All these while shouting “Bye
Bye Kyo! Have fun!”
But you know, until last Monday I was still wondering why I
was spared from death twice, but after watching “A Little Bit of Heaven,” a
movie about a dying woman, I realized that I wasn’t ready. The universe, the Supreme
Being, God, will not take anyone who is not ready and by not ready I mean I
haven’t done the things I want and need to do. The upside of this is that I
have more years to live because I still haven’t figured out until now what I
want and I still couldn’t clearly lay down what I need. The downside, however,
is that I don’t know if I ever will be, and I don’t want to live to be a
hundred. I, however, know one thing for sure; and that is how my deathbed would
look like. I have this clearly painted in my head. I have my kids beside me and
that’s all I see.
Nevertheless, regardless of when and how I will die, I still
want to make it clear that I don’t care if I would be cremated or buried six
feet under. I leave that decision to my family. What matters is the after
funeral party! I’d be free, so it’s fair to party!
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