I love the film LOL starring Miley Cyrus. I know I am too
old for this kind of film, but I was very touched by its story. I could relate
to Anne (Demi Moore) since like her I am a single mother with three kids the
eldest of which is a girl rapidly turning into a lady.
I used to have the same predicaments as the ones Anne had in
the movie. The first would be in terms of marriage. I remember the time when my
husband and I separated and we would still rendezvous trying to hide our
unexplainable relationship from prying eyes. In the movie, Anne and her husband
did this too, yet unlike them, my husband and I actually went back together
after a few months of playing around, but then again it really didn’t work out.
So, after a few years we separated again…for good. Anne on the other hand was
strong enough to recognize and acknowledge early warning signs that her
relationship with her husband is far from being saved.
In the movie, Anne only wanted someone to share her life
with other than her kids. Of course, even if our kids are our happiness, there
are just some things in our head that needs to be shared with someone to keep
us sane. Most of the time, these things we cannot share with our kids, family,
nor our friends. So, like Anne in the movie, I went through the period of
wanting someone to be beside me and just listen to me. I’ve outgrown it though.
Most of my relationships were so traumatic I’d rather stay a single mom.
The most interesting part in the movie for me though is the
relationship of Anne to her daughter and to her mother. Like Anne, I was not
very open with mom. I know my mom tries hard to reach out to me but often times
I would just shun her. I have always promised that I will not be like my mom to
my kids—over-protective, demanding. My mom loves to interrogate and she can be
a real nag most of the time. Yet, like Anne in the movie, I guess I never did
really escape the shadow of my mom. I have turned into her. I wanted to be
involved in my daughter’s life like my mom used to be like. I want to know what
my daughter is thinking. What freaks me out though is that I often catch myself
being over-protective and a nag. I try to control myself, but I guess now I
understand my mom, I am just afraid of losing my precious daughter to a bad
life.
And then, like me to my mom when I was a teenager, my
daughter doesn’t want me to be too involved either. The clock’s turned…
Like Anne, I am very afraid that my daughter would go
through the same crazy things I went through, and I am even more terrified that
she would end up like me—with a broken marriage. But now, I am slowly
recognizing the reality that the things I went through were things that I had
to go through so that I would grow to be a stronger person, thus, I should let
my daughter go through the things that she has to go through for her to also be
strong. Anne realized this too in the movie, and so she has allowed her
daughter to enjoy her teenage life.
In the end, just like Lola’s realization in the movie, we
are no different to our moms and it is very likely that our daughters will turn
out to be like us when they become moms themselves. It’s a cycle I guess.
My favorite lines from the film LOL:
“She’s like mom with Lola.” ~ Lola’s little sister
Truth is, me and mom aren't so different. After all these,
we're finally ready to let each other grow up and it's nice to know, no matter
what happens...we'll always be there for each other.” ~ Lola
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